The most important priority of this entire process is the two of you! Your relationship is why this wedding is even happening. But, aside from that obvious priority, you likely have aspects that are really important to you and it's different for everyone because the two of you are unique and special. When you close your eyes, what matters to you - the dress, the venue, the food, fun with family and friends? You might think, "that's easy, I want everything to be perfect!" but that actually isn't a reasonable priority. What is reasonable is a lovely dress, time with friends, and beautiful flowers.

Yep - you can have those things. Priorities keep us focused and simplify the whole process, as they provide a filter for decisions. One bride's priority was lights and dancing, so she hung lights in every form you can imagine. By decorating almost exclusively with lights, she turned a church gym into a fairy castle. So fun! It’s easy to get inundated with everything and become discouraged and overwhelmed, losing focus on the day itself. So let's find out what's most important to you.

Here are some examples of how priorities may affect your decisions:

• Food—If this is a priority, whether DIY or purchased, go for memorable, with care and thought, with all the details. But, going further, food can also be centerpieces (bread, appetizers, mini cakes) or decorations around the room with food stations.

• Decor & Florals—Think through all the spaces you want to decorate for the ceremony and the reception. Even if the decor is a priority, you don’t have to have a ton of them; just well thought out. More is just more. A few striking florals can carry the weight of many. Give yourself the time to enjoy the DIY projects you want to do. ** Speaking of details, one of the problems with social media is the elevation of little details, as we constantly see these micro-detail photos. Pick a few that matter to you, and let the others drop.

• Time with family and friends —In this scenario, I would make sure the venue is very functional over how it looks, think of the space as it will be used, and make sure there is good food, fun music, dancing, and even games. If people are a priority, many decor details can be left undone. The decor that does matter is signage to help your guests.

• Venue—This may be tough if you are very particular and on a tight budget, but ask yourself what you want in that venue, and focus on those as you search. If the venue is naturally beautiful, save money and time by not over-decorating. Check for midweek and offseason uses. If you have access to a free option that feels good but is missing some specifics, really give it thought, even getting help from a friend who is good at seeing through limitations.

• Photography - is usually one of the top three and is another tough one with a tight budget, so this may be one area where you choose to splurge. A quality photographer will cost $2,500 (and up), and for some of you, this is an expense you can afford. However, for others, we need to think through other options, like limiting the time you have a professional on hand, finding a new wedding photographer who needs to build their portfolio, or someone who is a good photographer but hasn’t done weddings.

So, what really matters to you? Decide your top two or three priorities—no more!

Prioritizing The Wedding Day Itself

Another area that needs prioritizing is the wedding day, so pace yourself! The day has four main “events”: getting ready, photography, ceremony, and reception. Each of those can require a lot of energy from a person, let alone all in one day; some girls are getting ready fourteen hours before the end of the reception. I knew a young lady with many health issues and was seriously concerned about her energy levels. One decision was to have the rehearsal two days before the wedding. (Due to their circumstances, they could do that.) The wedding day was still long, but she was rested heading into it.

Another told her girls, “Come dressed and ready to go. I don’t have the energy for all of that get-ready stuff.” She knew her priorities, and they weren’t getting ready with others. Several couples have chosen to shorten the get-ready time, take photos before the ceremony, and then, after the ceremony, spend 20-30 minutes quietly alone before heading into the reception rested and ready to party.

There is no right or wrong here; it just needs to be what matters to you. I have found that girls with clear priorities tend to be less stressed and overwhelmed than those who have not figured this out. Make decisions that keep you at your best. When your budget is limited, it is critical to keep those priorities at the front of your mind throughout your planning so your day has the aspects that matter the most to you. So keep the focus on you as a couple, your top three priorities, and the wedding day paced in a way that is a blessing to you.

And always remember …

The things that don’t matter DO NOT matter! Don’t elevate, stress, or spend money in an area that doesn't matter to you.